Holly Fawlkner Erotica

Something new happened this morning. 

It's been a long time since I suctioned my nipples - other things have taken precedence - but for the first time in ages, I took a notion to get the nipple suckers out before I even so much as touched my pussy. I thought it might be nice. I was not prepared for what actually happened. 

Within seconds of putting them on, I was on the edge. A few minutes later I was struggling not to slip over into an accidental ruin. I've been able to get to a soft edge by rubbing my nipples before, but never like this. Never where I was actually about to come, and not just from having my nipples suctioned. It was such an exquisite ache - not painful enough to make me cry, just beautifully torturous. 

I took them off to be safe and once I'd calmed down a little bit, I tried using my Satisfyer on each nipple. The same thing happened - within under a minute, I had to stop because I was going to ruin. I'm lying here now with my pussy crying and begging for any touch at all, but I don't want to touch it yet. It's such a demanding little attention whore. I have permission to edge today, but I've noticed that my arousal skyrockets when I barely touch my clit at all. I want to lose myself in desperation. I want to see how long I can bear ignoring my pussy. When I can't stand it any more, I want to give my clit as little attention as possible. Maybe I'll only run my finger around it or let the heel of my hand brush against it while I fuck my fingers into my cunt. Maybe I'll put something over my clit so I can't touch it at all - a lid, my pussy pump - and rub that instead. 

I got to suck my master's cock last night and I am imagining what it would be like to suck his cock if my pussy was locked away. It would be so greedy for his touch. He always touches me while he's using my mouth, but not always my pussy. Sometimes he puts his hand really close to my pussy and just keeps it there without moving it. Last night he had his hand on my neck gripping my collar and then resting in the small of my back, but my pussy wasn't touched once. If he locked me in chastity and only touched my pussy over the cold steel while he used my mouth, I think I'd cry. I am imagining him unlocking the belt to inspect my pussy after he's finished, touching me as little as possible, making me hold his cum in my mouth so I can't beg, almost touching my clit and then deciding that the only direct touch I'm to be allowed is on my nipples before locking me up again. I imagine him pinning me down and sucking on my nipples and ordering me to ruin like that, then changing his mind at the last second and telling me I need to edge with my nipples a hundred times without touching my pussy before he'll consider letting me ruin like that. I imagine being told that if I can't come from having the shield of my belt gently rubbed right over where my clit is beneath it, I won't get to come at all because I'm clearly not horny enough. 

When I do eventually manage to ruin or come under these conditions, I imagine him telling me there's no need to unlock my pussy again unless he wants to fuck it. It doesn't need to be touched. It exists only to please his cock and keep me focused on being a good whore. 

The muira puama and ginkgo biloba cocktail I've been taking are working quite well with no adverse side effects. I have largely abandoned the damiana because it turns out that I'm quite susceptible to its effects and I don't like being high all the time, but it isn't really needed. I am always dripping these days. My pussy soaks through my clothes in a matter of hours. My last orgasm was over a month ago and it's more likely than not that I won't have another at all until at least September. That will be about 5 months.

5 months of aching because I'm his whore and my orgasms are his to sell. Perhaps more. I can't thank those of you who have bought them - and my book - enough. You're responsible for giving me 66 days of denial so far. 

I don't even know if I'm going to be allowed an occasional ruin. Now that ​is a prospect that frightens me almost as much as it makes my pussy drip. 

​If you want to keep me denied for even longer, you can get a copy of All The Way Down here:

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